Home › Facebook Group › General Discussion Board › Special Time with more than one child – from Tammy › Reply To: Special Time with more than one child – from Tammy
Tammy, thank you for bringing up this topic.
Kathy, I have a question in relation to this topic. Recently, my husband has been traveling a lot which puts me in a similar situation to Tammy here. I have taken advantage of using play dates as a way to keep one child busy while filling the other child’s cup, but I haven’t been able to make it a regular thing.
My son is in 1st grade and he definitely needs connection time after school. When I try and give him special time when he gets home, my 2 year old gets jealous and they fight about who gets the special time first. I try and give my 2 year old special time before my 1st grader comes home, but so far almost no amount of attention I give my 2 year old seems to be enough, she still gets very feisty against her big brother getting ST first.
My son is not in any mood to put up with her behavior, so what ends up happening is that he might call her names or get physical with her, she cries, I move in to Stay Listen with her, and then my son will spew out ugly words or poke or yank at me, fight over my lap space, etc.
On a good day, they both end up crying and I try and do my best to Stay Listen with two at once, which I’m not sure if I’m doing right – I just do my best to pay enough attention to both of them. On a not-so-good day, the Stay Listen gets interrupted by my son, I end up spending most of my energy on trying to unsuccessfully bring a limit to my son (because I can’t enforce any limit while Stay Listening with my daughter), and I feel super frustrated about not being able to help either child out of their agitated state.
I understand this is something I need to bring up with my Listening Partner, which I do, but obviously I still have residual stress around this issue. The biggest question I have in my mind is, are there any tips on handling Stay Listening with two at once?