I had posted in the Sibling Rivalry area, thinking it belonged there. Yes, I do use Fb, but not much, I somehow keep missing things there, and I feel easily disoriented and overwhelmed (like a child!!) in there. Jana added me, so I’ll move over there next time, but for now I’ll simply repost my question here.
We’re deep into sibling-trouble. I’ve been reading some articles and watched some videos, but I don’t know where to start. My sons, 7 and 10, are fighting or bickering all the time. It makes my daily life miserable. The other day, I heard myself tell them, out of exasperation, that I was considering moving out because of their behavior! :(( I don’t even know what info to give you to help you help me… Just now, something happened that happens often. They came home from school, and 30 sec after crossing the door, my youngest was screaming as if his brother was torturing him, and my oldest was yelling at him because it was an exaggerated reaction. It was indeed. Ismaël (7) screams for any and no reason, whenever he’s frustrated with something with his brother. He screams at the slightest push or even sometimes inventing a push. So I understand Léo (10) to be pissed off. Yet I know that Léo rarely miss an opportunity to push or punch lightly — small gestures that he knows will provoke his brother, without appearing as agressions. He knows how to make Ismaël mad. He older, stronger, and more clever. When i came down the stairs, Ismaël was crying and Léo was mad and not looking at me. I put my hand on Ismaël’s feet and simply stayed there until his (exaggerated, dramatic) crying subsided. He was obviously faking the physical hurt, and I did not know what to say. I remained silent, just offering the contact, until he seemed somewhat done (but it done not feel like a good “done”, a good, cleansing resolution). Then I came here to look for resources. I would like to reconnect with Léo, but I don’t know how. If I offer ST, he’ll accept, we’ll play cards or something, and that will be it. And I would like Ismaël to be less dramatic. He wasn’t hurt at all. Can you help me? Where to start? This is just one example… It happens all the time.