Hi Good Parents,
It is wonderful that several of you have already reached out to find Listening Partnerships. If you are not familiar with Listening Partnerships, it is our parent-to-parent support tool and a very important part of our Parenting by Connection approach.
Our approach in based in brain science. So, we understand that when we get frustrated, angry or just overwhelmed and confused, some old hurt from our own childhood is blocking OUR ability to think. When our kiddos go off-track, we know that they can’t think. The same is true for us! We know that when we listen to their feelings, they can empty their emotional backpack and then they will be able to think. The same is true for us!
When someone listens to us rant, rave, laugh, cry, we get to empty our emotional backpack and offload old hurts or tension, then we can think! We have more access to our higher reasoning center, our creativity, our patience, our playfulness and we can be the parents we want to be.
In order for us to be able to access and empty our emotional backpack (we’ve had a lot of experience tamping those feelings down) we need to feel safe in our listening partnerships. These guidelines will help you create a safe partnership so that you can use your partners attention well and allow old hurts to bubble up and release.
If you would like to know more about the value of listening partnerships, here is Patty’s story
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/bad-feelings-dont-make-you-a-bad-parent/ (Links to an external site.)
Also here is a great list from Instructor Kate Orsen that elaborates on my list.
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/03/10-tips-good-listener/ (Links to an external site.)
Lastly, if you’d like more information on how to ask someone to be your partner, here’s a great article from one of our Instructor’s Kristen Volk.
I like to say that you can be listening partners with almost anyone, as long as they are willing to follow the guidelines. When you are looking for a listening partner, I recommend that you first look for someone who fits your schedule. Many of my partners have very different families than I (partners, more kids, older/younger kids, etc) but our schedules jive. And I love having partners in different time zones. Another Instructor, Madeleine Winters, lives in Australia. I live in Los Angeles and when I’m up late at night, it’s her mid-afternoon and it’s often a perfect time for the two of us to connect.
This discussion board is a great place to put it out there that you are looking for a partner. Be sure to ask questions of us here and let us know how it goes…
Peace & Smiles,
Parenting by Connection Certified Instructor
Follow me on facebook: Parenting by Connection with Kathy
“If we are to teach real peace in the world, we shall have to begin with children” – Gandhi
Thank you for these reminders and the links. I caught up with my listening partner today after an especially tough week last week, and I can’t recommend a listening partnership enough to other parents. It is so helpful!
You are so welcome, Brooke! Sorry it took me a bit to reply. It’s so great that you connected with your listening partner. Doesn’t it make such a huge difference?
I recently added 3 more partners. My parenting was really stinky and I realized I wasn’t getting enough listening time. Now I meet with a listening partner regularly, at least 4 times each week.
Do you know that we started a facebook group JUST for Parent’s Club members? That’s a great place to get more listening partners. We started it because parents said they used FB all the time, so it’s more convenient and accessible.
If you’d like to join the FB group, give me the email that is associated with your FB page, and I’ll invite you. It’s a secret group – again, just for Parent’s Club members.
If there is anything we can do to support you in the Club and with your parenting, please let us know.
Peace & Smiles,