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Peace & Smiles,
Kathy Gordon, Hand in Hand Instructor and Co-Mod
Thanks so much for your reply! An initial question that I have involve saying the right things when reasonable requests (put toys away, no more snacks, put books away while eating) are made of my little guy. For example, on this day, we did special time earlier in the day, which went well. We also had a family talk that involved a discussion on how to respond when an adult makes a request of them or tells them to stop an action/do something. At dinner, my husband asked Wyatt not to eat any more watermelon (had 3 big chunks) and he yelled “I want more” and other things and stomped all around (it was much more threatening that seems to be conveyed in this writing). I took him aside and explained how we do not yell at an adult and that dinner was indeed over (he was encouraged to eat more at dinner, but chose not to, so we let it go at that time). He then yelled again about wanting more, things are unfair and I said that yelling would not get him what he wants. Is this all I should do?
My husband wants to take toys/stuffies, when he gets like this, but I know that is a temporary fix and doesn’t help him move beyond these types of responses. We obviously don’t want him to yell at any adults (there is really minimal yelling at our house and especially not directed at the kids). I often will do the time ins and wait him out, when he gets super mad (yelling, throwing things), but I am wondering if there is something more I could do help him not get so mad/diffuse the situation better, my Violet doesn’t typically get mad in these types of situations, so it is a stark contrast and leaves us wondering why he does get sooooo angry and unkind. We don’t get reports of this severe behavior at daycare, so I do feel like this is a home problem (decent code-switching perhaps?). He is very verbal, but when asked why he gets so mad, he doesn’t say much.
Is this still typical at 4.5? What can I do to help him get through these feelings with less collateral damage?